Firstly, I don’t want this post to make anyone doubt my commitment to medicine or its community, however, I just need to vent some …
Previous to Christmas I was happy with my decision to quit my comfortable job in IT, no one seemed to think it was a bad idea and I wasn’t being hassled by recruitment agents as the economy and market was at an all time low.
Since then, little things have been creeping-up on me, starting with family and friends making comments about how I must be mad to leave behind ten years of experience in an industry, let alone the very good salary. From here on I started to self-doubt myself a little (not something I usually do), almost convincing myself that maybe I hadn’t made the right decision, after all, I wasn’t even in med school yet, let alone access to medicine and it’s not as if either of them are easy to get in to. Then, let’s say I am successful and gain entry, will I manage the six years schooling? You see where I am going … just so many things are making me go mad. Yesterday I had to arrange for the finance company to come and collect my car (next wed), which was another factor. I know it’s stupid, I mean it’s just a car, what are material possessions anyway? But I worked so hard to get it and blah!
The final straw today was I got phoned-up about an amazing position in London with a six figure salary and they want to take me for lunch tomorrow to discuss it further. I said no at first, but then my Mum and a friend convinced me to go and just see what it’s about, so I phoned back and agreed to meet — and now, I feel sick to the stomach, in that I’m going back on all my plans and how far I have got, because I know if I go up there tomorrow and see all the glamour and the package they’re offering I’ll sign =(
I feel like I have let myself down and I just wanted to put this out there and hope some of my friends on twitter can offer some words of assurance from the other side, because at the moment I have no one telling me to go med school, but instead just to continue going for the money and with IT.
I hate IT, I love medicine, but hopefully some of you out there will understand that other variables get in the way and don’t always make things/decisions so clear cut.
Thanks and sorry for the rant.
Update 17/01/01
I cancelled the interview and I’m sticking with my plan. Thank you all for your kind comments.
